*whew*

So for approximately the last five hours I have been writing, deleting, re-writing, etc. It's been a long time since I have pulled somewhat of an all-nighter in order to meet a deadline. It's definitely familiar and it feels kind of good to be writing. The main point of worry is of course whether or not what I have written is any good. Not just in writing, but also in other areas of my life, it seems I am my truly my biggest (and currently my most crippling) critic.

This week/month has been a difficult one for me mentally/emotionally. Each day that has gone by this week, two huge things have come to light. One - that I really want to pursue a career that involves music (writing), Two - that James and I may not make it. It's a huge mix of emotion...excitement, sadness, anticipation for what is to come, disappointment (I could go on for quite awhile). It's not that things are bad between us, just that we don't seem to have much in common these days. I guess no matter how much two people want to work out, sometimes it's just not meant to work out that way, least not at this time. I'm not mad about us, just sad.

Incredibly sad.

*sigh*

So after watching The Raconteurs at Lollapalooza, I have a new crush. I know people remember my crush on Rivers Cuomo (yeah, I still like him, but the man is married now) and Nick Valensi of The Strokes (married now and soon-to-be father), but there is a new guy...Brendan Benson. I don't like him just based on his looks (I'm not that shallow), it's just that The Raconteurs put on a great show and I really like his voice and music talent...pretty simple, but there ya go. James (Starbucks) thinks I just like The Raconteurs because I think Brendan Benson is a good looking guy (which he is), but whatev...girls can also like male musicians for their talent, too!

Anywho, check out his solo work and of course The Raconteurs

www.brendanbenson.com
www.theraconteurs.com

Much Love!

oy

So I haven't stayed at my new place since the horrific attack of the fleas. James has assured me that my apt is pest free. After the managers set off foggers, James and I bought some more at the store because I was afraid that they didn't get them all (the foggers they bought were for adult fleas), so we bought ones that were specifically for fleas and their eggs (yuck) and set them off two days later and we bought spray for the windows (for a variety of bugs). I feel bad because I am all like killing these bugs, but bugs aren't meant to be biting my ankles and legs and I don't believe their place is in my apt. I aired the place out the other day and now have washed my sheets and some clothes. I just need to get in and unpack everything and vacuum again and get the courage to sleep there on my own. (I'm such a sissy) I'm just so bummed out that this is my first experience in the new apt and that the management (well just the husband) was rude about the situation. What makes it stink more is that I've paid so much to live here. With the combination of rent and the security deposit and the schedule of when rent is due before the month is over I will have dropped $1050 on this lovely apt, but whatev!

I am excited Wilco tickets go on sale today, but I am majorly broke (read above). James said he would buy my ticket, but I know he is short on funds too, so I don't want to bring it up (that would be mean of me). So I'm just hoping that not all of the good seats are taken in a couple of weeks when I get paid again *fingers crossed*

Anywho, I guess I should go eat breakfast or something and get some stuff done before work.

Laters!

bummed out

So I have a lot of bug bites on my legs after sleeping at my new place. I thought that maybe mosquitoes got in or that they were just a couple of spider bites. Instead guess what I have in my apt...FLEAS! I was sitting on my couch today talking on the phone and I found one on my shirt and I went to squish it, but it moved away too quickly. So I called my landlord and they said they would put some bug bombs in there tonight. And that they were surprised because the ppl that lived there before didn't have any pets and that the person below me opposite of me has a cat. But I know I didn't bring fleas into that apartment, nor did anybody that has come over to visit. It just turned into a weird situation, first they apologized and are going to set off bug bombs, but then it turned into the guy telling me he will take care of it this time, but that if they come back it is my problem. It just seemed a bit rude in my opinion and he accused my friend (Lisa stayed there a couple of weekends ago) of bringing them in. bleh.

Anywho off to a work meeting.

ps...I am way sad...Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson are separating=/