you know, this would make good fries...like the home-made kind, real potatoes and stuff

blogs to come...

weddings

book deals at thrift stores/goodwill

and I am sure something else, but I don't remember=Þ

much love!

Facing the Right Direction

In Buddhism there are numerous paths of spiritual training. Each has its unique goal, purpose, and benefits for oneself and others. But in order to be able to benefit truly, it is very important to understand the principal purpose underlying these practices. If we take the wrong turn at a crossroads, every step we make will take us further from our destination. In the same way, if we fail to realize the nature of our spiritual goal and what our aim should be, our practice will not be beneficial, or at least not nearly as helpful as it could otherwise be.

The main focus of all of our training in Dharma is to benefit our minds....If we do not improve our minds, then regardless of how many understandings we have about the ten stages, the five paths, ceremonies, philosophies, and so forth, they'll all become objects that we never apply to ourselves. It can be very simple, like when we are facing the right direction--every step will bring us closer to our destination.

--Tulku Thondup, in Enlightened Journey.

However Small a Spark

In simple terms, what does karma mean? It means that whatever we do, with our body, speech, or mind, will have a corresponding result. Each action, even the smallest, is pregnant with its consequences. It is said by the masters that even a little poison can cause death, and even a tiny seed can become a huge tree. And as Buddha said: "Do not overlook negative actions merely because they are small; however small a spark may be, it can burn down a haystack as big as a mountain." Similarly he said: "Do not overlook tiny good actions, thinking they are of no benefit; even tiny drops of water in the end will fill a huge vessel." Karma does not decay like external things, or ever become inoperative. It cannot be destroyed by time, fire, or water. Its power will never disappear, until it is ripened.

--Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

YAY!!!!

yay for the Colts winning...this should make for a good Superbowl game, esp. since my roomie is a Bears fan=)

much love!

I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.

so ya, WSF have a show tonight at midnight, but I don't have anyone to go with me, so I prob won't be going...just not at the point in my life where I can go to shows by myself, prob won't be for a long time or ever. I just don't know enough ppl at these things to not feel weird just hanging out by random strangers or sit at a table by myself or with strangers, ya know?

anywho. work was definitely a test of my patience today with the various customers who came in and the work environment. I am trying so hard to have more patience with all things, but sometimes it is really really hard...oy. anywho, I got to work with Anna for pretty much the entire shift so that was nice.

Ginger and I met up to have dinner at Moe's. Dinner was good and the conversation was really good. it definitely reminded me of why I became friends with Ginger and why I want to maintain a friendship with her. good times for sure. then we went over to Borders and I bought a book for someone...I won't say who or what kind just in case they are reading this. And what a relief there were no awkward greeting exchanges with anyone who works there=Þ

my teeth feel a little fuzzy from the drink I got at Starbucks afterwards, but I think I am going to make some popcorn and watch a movie. It's no secret that I love weddings, not as much as some of my friends, and I've been in the mood this week to watch Father of the Bride so I should do that since this week is almost over=)

much love!

so follow my lead, and we'll 1-2-3

so I am finally at the point where I like my bangs for the most part. it has just been so long since i have had straight across bangs. and no, I do not want people saying/calling me "she bangs, she bangs!" (James) and relating me to William Hung just because i am asian=Þ

Hillary and I had a feast tonight of pizza and breadsticks. I slept most of it off during a nap before watching Scrubs, it was the musical episode and it was pretty good. Zach Braff and Donald Faison were on Jimmy Kimmel last night and they were pretty funny. and it also reaffirmed my crush on Zach Braff, heh. Which Hillary still doesn't understand, but to each her own=)

Today was a good day for the most part, it has helped talking with some of my friends about the somewhat major funk I am in, but hopefully will get out of...thanks Christina, Anna and Hillary, esp.. I think if I continue to talk to people about it and probably seek out a professional to talk to (to have an objective viewpoint) it will be easier to tackle for sure. oy. I am not sure when the turning point was for me that I became so overwhelmed by everyday things and what not. However, the other issue I am dealing with makes sense...but pairing it with anxiousness, etc. is not fun...eek! The anxiety stuff I feel didn't really become an issue until a few years ago and esp during the time of Kitchen Art from what I remember. ah well.

Anywho, I know there was more stuff I was going to write, but I need to clean up the kitchen and prepare my list of things to do for tomorrow...yay for pay day!

much love!

Blocked

The river flows rapidly down the mountain, and then all of a sudden it gets blocked with big boulders and a lot of trees. The water can't go any farther, even though it has tremendous force and forward energy. It just gets blocked there. That's what happens with us, too; we get blocked like that. Letting go at the end of the out-breath, letting the thoughts go, is like moving one of those boulders away so that the water can keep flowing, so that our energy and our life force can keep evolving and going forward. We don't, out of fear of the unknown, have to put up these blocks, these dams, that basically say no to life and to feeling life.

--Pema Chodron.

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?

so first it was Kate Hudson & Chris Robinson and now Drew & Fab? My favorite rocker/actress couples are breaking up! The different sources I have read say that Drew and Fab have separated a couple times throughout their relationship, so who knows if this is the real deal. According to MSN and Harper's this is what Drew had to say of Fab, "Right now I'm in a phase of 'I'm not even your girlfriend. I'm your best friend who is madly in love with you.'" Oy. And of course the other major couple people are talking about right now...Cameron and Justin - it's a done deal.

Anywho, enough lame-o gossip from all the smut magazines and such. Yay for day two of my mini-vacay! It's almost 10am and I need to eat something real quick, then head over to James's house to finish tuning all the drums/set and then hopefully get in a little time to just play whatever by myself. Yesterday was fun, I had my first "jam" with James. And um ya...there were a lot of moments where my foot got all jumbled and it took me a while to get back on the right beat or a beat at all=Þ I'm just glad that if I had to be doing this with anyone it is James because he's not all super serious about it and not expecting much out of me yet *whew*. And I felt a bit relieved afterwards when he said it was better than what he had expected.

Oh! I'm heading to Chicago later to hang out with Ross and Rebecca. Nothing major planned, just hang out time which I am way excited...so I should get off of here so I can make it up there by 3pm-ish!

much love!

Take a load off Fanny

so I'm going to be turning the big 25 this year and I'm kinda in the mindset that I need to get my weight under control and consistently make the effort to be healthy...not just every other week or so. I would not describe myself as fat, but I am definitely slightly chubs. I've been on the chubby side as far back as I can remember and I'd like to change it if I can. I know I'll always have these chubby cheeks, cheeks that I am sorry to say CAN'T store food during wintertime=Þ Hillary and I have decided to buddy up and lose the weight together, I just hope we keep each other motivated when one of us wants to eat a whole large thin crust pizza from Domino on any given Tuesday night (2x's Tuesday!). Hillary is on weight watchers and said that ideally one can lose two pounds a week, approx. 8-10 lbs a month. If I was way hardcore, I could have the weight off by April, but something tells me I can't be that strict/disciplined to do that. SO, the plan is to have the weight off by June (my birthday) and see how well I can keep it off, I am hoping for good +/- 5 lbs. I just don't feel comfortable weighing what I do now. If I don't get it under control, I can see myself getting big again...like the summer before eighth grade and end of sophomore year here at Purdue. I'm not planning on starving myself and working out tons (I just don't have it in me!), instead just planning on being healthier overall and actually caring about my body - what I am putting into it and how I am taking care of it and getting my emotional eating under control. It's so easy to say! Anywho...

off to do some stuff before bedtime.

much love!