awesome

That's what I said when I saw the guy I am crushing on at Borders. Adrienne, James (Starbucks) and I went over after our meeting to look around. We went to check out and Adrienne was being her normal self - funny, confident, etc. - and was making conversation with Zach and then it was my turn to check out and I had my Borders Reward card in my hand and he said he could swipe it for me and instead of saying, "thanks" or "that would be great" (something polite and friendly) I blurted out "AWESOME!" I know I'm thinking way too hard about what I need to say when I see my crush and I get way nervous and pretty much become incoherent and lose all the social skills that I have. Seriously, it's bad.

I know I talk a lot about guys and who I think is cute, etc. But honestly there are only a couple of guys that I seriously like, like really like. I found out last week that guy #1 has a girlfriend, which I was bummed out about, but anymore these days I'm not surprised. If they are great guys they are probably already taken. Borders crush is single (source: Anna), but I really don't talk to him...or any guy for that matter. I just get really shy and all I can do is smile and stumble over the very few words that I can get out of my mouth. Who knows. I just know I need to not put so much effort into thinking about this topic=Þ Just be myself...meow meow meow.

anywho. I put an ad in the Exponent to advertise my apt. I hope something turns out. It will be running for three days and so ya. We'll just have to see what happens.

I was supposed to leave tonight for the meditation course, but I just don't have a good feeling about leaving right now. The timing doesn't feel right, like with work and all the things I should be working on for work or outside of work (writing, tutoring, etc.) and my car is also acting funny and so I have decided not to go. That is kind of a plus though because after tomorrow, I have every day off until next Tuesday/Wednesday. I hope a I get some things accomplished/finished.

Besides my apt and still feeling sad every now and then about James, things are good. There was a time a few weeks ago that I started getting really sad about James, I don't know if it was really about that we weren't together, but just sad that things didn't work out and that I hope we will still be friends despite all of this. But it seems difficult to go back to a friendship when I think about our relationship over the time I have known him. I don't know how these things work with trying to be friends with someone that the majority of the time you were dating, planning a future of some sort and being really closer to that person than your best friends and such. Like I know that I just have to wait and see I can't keep spending my time worrying about things I just really don't know the answer to, but it's hard to not do that. I feel like I worry more than I should be about all sorts of things!

Anywho, I should stop writing and head to the grocery store. I so love grocery shopping, I just don't like the putting away part when you get home, ya know? Anywho.

Much Love!

don't you love it?

omg, seriously Jenny Lewis is amazing. I got to see her last night in Nashville with my friends Jenny and Mike and she was absolutely amazing. I really can't say anything more than that. I was so impressed by her voice (love it!) and her stage presence. If you get the chance to see her you should do it. You won't be disappointed!

Much Love!

For British Eyes Only

I got to see Hillary for about an hour or so yesterday. I think we are looking at either Riverwalk or Salem Courthouse to live for the next semester. My main goal is just to find someone to take my apartment from January to August, without that I can't really think about living elsewhere. Anywho.

Work was fine, I got to work an actual shift with Anna which was way fun. She's a blast to work with=) I think my cold or whatever is getting better...it should since I've had it for a week now=Þ Yay for Sudafed. The mornings are worst and of course those great coughing fits I get when there are like 5 customers in line and I have to excuse myself to go to the back, but hey thats what comes with being sick.

I'm really excited about this week - Jenny Lewis + The Watson Twins in Nashville and also getting to see Jenny and Mike, I get to see Elisabeth on Friday which I can't remember the last time I have seen her and also just getting a chance to catch up on some reading, writing, and finishing season one of Six Feet Under (Peter Krause is a babe btw!).

I'm also excited because I might see Wilco again in November with Ross and Rebecca, and I have a meditation course in November and also The Raconteurs are playing at the Riviera on Dec. 30th...just hoping they aren't sold out by the time next payday or when I can scrap some tutoring/tip money together to get a ticket. They are playing the 30th and 31st of December, but tickets on the 31st are twice as much due to New Year's Eve. I don't really have plans on NY's Eve, but if I could see The Raconteurs that would be pretty sweet.

It's been hard but I have been much better at prioritizing things that I need to have money for rather than buying cds and concert tickets and books, etc. I managed to make sure all of my bills are paid for and not late this past Friday and with the little money I do have left I am trying to not spend on cds! But come tomorrow we shall see...not only is it tip day, but also tutoring day maybe one cd won't be so bad...

Anywho. I'm off hope everyone is healthy and happy!

Much Love!

can I get a venti tai chi latte?

Yuck for being sick. But I think I am getting over it...it's in the worst phase right now. I got sick the day after I got to Florida for my cousin's wedding. Which was a good time, definitely interesting to watch my family and how ppl interact with each other...it would make for some good short stories. Anywho...

wow...I had tons to write and seriously, my mind is blank. I think it's the medication or my being ill. Ah well.

Perhaps I will blog more tomorrow or of course in my own journal at home. Some things are better when kept private.

Off to work.

hot ham water

It turns out I'm not krazy and that there are bugs in my apt. Yup, fleas...omg, seriously I'm going out of my mind with these bites on me. And what really stinks is that I have a beach wedding to go to this coming Monday and I have no clue what to wear. I own nothing linen and a dress is pretty much out of the question with the awesome red bug bites on my legs and ankles. I thought maybe I could try the legging look with a dress and with some flats, but I'm kinda nervous. Anywho, it'll all work out by then. On the bright side, my landlord told me today that they are going to get exterminators in the building once they find out what is going on upstairs...there is another apt down the hall from me and the guy has the same problem so I felt a little less krazy.

Anywho, other things are fine. I got to go to work at 4:30am. Woot, woot. It was fine, I was just a bit sleepy because I didn't sleep much the night before due to potential bug bites and a storm that woke me up at 2am. I'm glad I woke up during the storm. I've always been afraid that I sleep through everything (most storms, even a fire alarm that went off in a building I lived in a few years ago) and that if something serious were happening, I'd just sleep through it. But this makes me feel a little better=Þ

This past weekend was nice. I got to see Ross and Rebecca...yay! Their condo is seriously so cute. Abby went with me and we had plenty to talk about on the way there and then she got sleepy around 9:30ish and so I tried to just stand next to ppl during the housewarming party and laugh and pretend I was part of the conversations. But everyone there was nice and friendly so I didn't feel too awkward/dorky. It just makes me realize I am super shy unless I know ppl at functions and things...I guess I kinda need to work on that. Saturday we had lunch together...pizza, mmm. I wish I could have spent more time with Ross and Rebecca, but hopefully later in October or November I will be heading up that way again. The ride home was a bit quiet. I didn't have much to say and I think Abby had a headache and it was raining so not a whole lot going on there, but it was nice once we hit the sunshine and the rain was done.

Every time I go to Chicago or around it, it makes me want to live there. Like I can't really do it right now, there is no plan of action, etc. (that's kind of how the last two years have been, but this year I suppose there is a tiny bit of direction as far as what I want to do with my life). But eventually I would like to live in Chicago, maybe not forever, but at least for a bit.

And guess what else...tomorrow is Wednesday and that means Wilco is going to be here! I am way excited. I'm going to have dinner with some folks (Matt and Kier and their friends) over at the new Irish Pub and then the show is around 7:30pm. It would only be better if Ross and Rebecca were coming, but being a Wednesday made it difficult. But someday I hope we can all see Wilco together, that would be pretty fun.

And upcoming, Jenny and I are going to catch Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins in Nashville later in October. I'm pretty excited about that. Good music and I get to hang out with Jenny;)

Anywho, I suppose I should get going and do something...maybe read a bit or run...it's pretty warm outside though so we shall see...

Laters;)