Have confidence in your own spiritual potentiality, your ability to find your own unique way. Learn from others certainly and use what you find useful, but also learn to trust your own inner wisdom. Have courage. Be awake and aware. Remember too that Buddhism is not about being a Buddhist; that is, obtaining a new identity tag. Nor is it about collecting head-knowledge, practices and techniques. It is ultimately about letting go of all forms and concepts and becoming free.
--John Snelling
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
slap it, shoot it, kaboot it...
so...Hillary and I are wanting to start a card and wine club! What kind of card club you ask? what other kind of card game is there besides euchre?! So we will be asking around to see if people are interested. We are thinking about once a month to get together and the first few sessions could be to teach ppl if they don't know how to play, but being from Indiana you should know=Þ
*sigh* I am so unmotivated today, but I am so going to do some yoga before it gets too late and then watch a Leno repeat with Jack Black. I've just been listening to music most of the day and watching some Gilmore Girls. I just can't see myself wanting to do anything that doesn't involve music in some way, but it isn't going to happen if I just sit on my bum like today...but it was my day off so it's allowed.
anywho...off to become a yogi!
much love!
*sigh* I am so unmotivated today, but I am so going to do some yoga before it gets too late and then watch a Leno repeat with Jack Black. I've just been listening to music most of the day and watching some Gilmore Girls. I just can't see myself wanting to do anything that doesn't involve music in some way, but it isn't going to happen if I just sit on my bum like today...but it was my day off so it's allowed.
anywho...off to become a yogi!
much love!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
You can't fail if you never give up
So I can't really sing, but that doesn't stop me from singing=Þ I'm kinda that annoying girl that whenever any song comes on or is played I try to sing along to it. I am not completely tone deaf, but I could definitely use some help in learning how to sing, so I'm going to try and get together with Kristin (from work) and hopefully she can show me the way. When I think about most of the people I know, they all have really nice singing voices...Hillary, Kristin, Jenny, my mom, Kelly, Ross, Ginger, Maria and um...ya, the list could go on forever. Anywho, the main thing I'd like to learn is how to use my diaphragm properly so I can be louder when I sing...louder = more annoying, heh. Hillary and I talked about this a week or so ago, and the other thing I need more of is confidence when I sing (and when I do other things, too). Anywho.
I hope everyone had a nice holiday this year;) I got to hang out with my parents, Jeff and his gf January, and my grandma. We had a couple over from church and played cards later in the evening. I love playing any sort of card games with my family because my mom and I always get goofy (with or without wine). We had a Christmas mix playing from the kitchen and there was a lot of singing, drumming on the table and dancing in our seats during the card game, which of course turned into hysterical laughter for us and everyone else laughing...probably at us, not with us, heh.
Yesterday I hung out with Christina which was good times. We had lunch at Scotty's and stuffed our faces full of food...oh waffle fries! It's definitely a good thing we don't live together anymore or I'd be like 20-30lbs heavier, eek! Went to Borders and returned a book, got another Black Keys cd. Christina ran a couple of errands with me and then we rented a couple of movies - Little Miss Sunshine and The Last Kiss. I highly recommend watching both!
Anywho, I think I need to get started on the apartment...aka get things in order! Hillary should be back up tomorrow with the rest of her things, so I definitely need to get things straightened up so I don't drive her krazy! I can stay up all night and clean/organize and listen to music since I have tomorrow off! I think James and I are going to see Rocky Balboa tomorrow. Christina was saying that the reviews have been bad, which I expected, but I checked imdb.com and so far it has like a 7/8ish out of 10. But as you all know, I love Rocky so it only makes sense that I will see it anyway!
Much love!
RIP
James Brown
Gerald R. Ford
I hope everyone had a nice holiday this year;) I got to hang out with my parents, Jeff and his gf January, and my grandma. We had a couple over from church and played cards later in the evening. I love playing any sort of card games with my family because my mom and I always get goofy (with or without wine). We had a Christmas mix playing from the kitchen and there was a lot of singing, drumming on the table and dancing in our seats during the card game, which of course turned into hysterical laughter for us and everyone else laughing...probably at us, not with us, heh.
Yesterday I hung out with Christina which was good times. We had lunch at Scotty's and stuffed our faces full of food...oh waffle fries! It's definitely a good thing we don't live together anymore or I'd be like 20-30lbs heavier, eek! Went to Borders and returned a book, got another Black Keys cd. Christina ran a couple of errands with me and then we rented a couple of movies - Little Miss Sunshine and The Last Kiss. I highly recommend watching both!
Anywho, I think I need to get started on the apartment...aka get things in order! Hillary should be back up tomorrow with the rest of her things, so I definitely need to get things straightened up so I don't drive her krazy! I can stay up all night and clean/organize and listen to music since I have tomorrow off! I think James and I are going to see Rocky Balboa tomorrow. Christina was saying that the reviews have been bad, which I expected, but I checked imdb.com and so far it has like a 7/8ish out of 10. But as you all know, I love Rocky so it only makes sense that I will see it anyway!
Much love!
RIP
James Brown
Gerald R. Ford
Letting Go of Holding On
Renunciation does not have to be regarded as negative. I was taught that it has to do with letting go of holding back. What one is renouncing is closing down and shutting off from life. You could say that renunciation is the same thing as opening to the teachings of the present moment....
Renunciation is realizing that our nostalgia for wanting to stay in a protected, limited, petty world is insane. Once you begin to get the feeling of how big the world is and how vast our potential for experiencing life is, then you really begin to understand renunciation. When we sit in meditation, we feel our breath as it goes out, and we have some sense of willingness just to be open to the present moment. Then our minds wander off into all kinds of stories and fabrications and manufactured realities, and we say to ourselves, "It's thinking." We say that with a lot of gentleness and a lot of precision. Every time we are willing to let the story line go, and every time we are willing to let go at the end of the outbreath, thats fundamental renunciation: learning how to let go of holding on and holding back.
--Pema Chodron
Renunciation is realizing that our nostalgia for wanting to stay in a protected, limited, petty world is insane. Once you begin to get the feeling of how big the world is and how vast our potential for experiencing life is, then you really begin to understand renunciation. When we sit in meditation, we feel our breath as it goes out, and we have some sense of willingness just to be open to the present moment. Then our minds wander off into all kinds of stories and fabrications and manufactured realities, and we say to ourselves, "It's thinking." We say that with a lot of gentleness and a lot of precision. Every time we are willing to let the story line go, and every time we are willing to let go at the end of the outbreath, thats fundamental renunciation: learning how to let go of holding on and holding back.
--Pema Chodron
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
The Stovetop Kernels
If there was ever to be a female version of the Woodstove Flapjacks, that would be it. Hillary and I came up with the name when we were about to watch Ricky Bobby (aka Bobby White to Hillary) and we couldn't make popcorn because we didn't have a microwave and I told her we would have to be slightly old-fashioned and make it on the stovetop like my parents used to, before microwave popcorn became all the rage=Þ And also because it seems women like popcorn more than men, but maybe that just isn't so and I am just digging for something to make the band name have a feminine spin on it.
anywho. this past week was a little rough in spots. I had a day of crying, which seems to be the norm these days. I kinda knew it was coming though. I had not been getting enough sleep, moving stuff, saying bye to people, not eating well and then throw boys in the mix - there are bound to be tears in there somewhere. Honestly though, I just have a lot of stuff going on that it just doesn't matter if I cry on any given day, if I feel like it, I will. This weekend was nice though and things are getting under control. I got a full night of rest Friday and Saturday evening and also last night. Sleep does a body and mind good! My parents came up on Sunday and we moved the rest of my things in...although I forgot the bookcase and it seems I am missing a few boxes in between all the moves and such (can't find the box with all my dvds!) But once I get everything in it's right place I think I will come across what I thought was missing. Okay, so I am really dorky, but in this paragraph I have named two songs by two bands that I really like so if you can identify them, leave a comment. I am sure there are more than just the ones I am thinking of, so you can comment on those also. One band has the word "The" in it and the other is just a one-word band name. One band is from the US and the other is from the UK. I just gave the biggest clues/hints ever for ya!
After my parents left I went to a little Christmas party at Spurlock's that Matt and Kier had invited me out to. You had to wear a tacky Christmas sweater or something of the like. So I had this bright green sweater vest that I bought at GW a long time ago and it was perfect for the event. I bought a red turtle neck to put under it (thank goodness for girls XL turtlenecks at Target for $3.50) and wore khaki's. It was pretty lame looking, but I tried to make it look somewhat cute=Þ
I got a lot of the kitchen things washed last night...just not put away and will hopefully finish that part of the apt today. I had to quit last night for a movie break. I finally saw The Family Stone. Not what I was expecting over-all, but it was a good movie. You should check it out. and ps...Luke Wilson is SO cute;)
I got a slight workout today. I helped Hillary and her dad move some things into the apt. I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Since I have been moving a lot lately I thought my muscles were a little stronger than they used to be, but after helping move a queen-sized bed upstairs...it appears not to be the case, ah well. After that I met Adrienne and Anna for Thai and it was great. Exotic Thai II (we're not sure where ET I is yet) has such great food...yummero!
Anywho, I should get back to the apartment and clean. Or at least head back and see if Hillary wants to run to Borders with me...I am slowly getting a start on my Christmas list for others and I came across another present today for somebody and it's at Borders. yay for coupons and Borders Rewards!
Anywho, off to clean or run errands!
much love!
p.s. you should check out The Black Keys. I borrowed a dvd of them from James and they are pretty amazing. Just the guitarist and the drummer and the sound they have created is impressive. I can only hope to be half as good as Pat Carney and hopefully half as sweaty! James wants to have a sound like The Black Keys and of course he loves Jack White so would it be The Black Stripes or the White Keys? Apparently neither...he threw out the name The Grey Chords. Not sure about that, but oh well. let's worry about me getting a drum kit first=Þ
anywho. this past week was a little rough in spots. I had a day of crying, which seems to be the norm these days. I kinda knew it was coming though. I had not been getting enough sleep, moving stuff, saying bye to people, not eating well and then throw boys in the mix - there are bound to be tears in there somewhere. Honestly though, I just have a lot of stuff going on that it just doesn't matter if I cry on any given day, if I feel like it, I will. This weekend was nice though and things are getting under control. I got a full night of rest Friday and Saturday evening and also last night. Sleep does a body and mind good! My parents came up on Sunday and we moved the rest of my things in...although I forgot the bookcase and it seems I am missing a few boxes in between all the moves and such (can't find the box with all my dvds!) But once I get everything in it's right place I think I will come across what I thought was missing. Okay, so I am really dorky, but in this paragraph I have named two songs by two bands that I really like so if you can identify them, leave a comment. I am sure there are more than just the ones I am thinking of, so you can comment on those also. One band has the word "The" in it and the other is just a one-word band name. One band is from the US and the other is from the UK. I just gave the biggest clues/hints ever for ya!
After my parents left I went to a little Christmas party at Spurlock's that Matt and Kier had invited me out to. You had to wear a tacky Christmas sweater or something of the like. So I had this bright green sweater vest that I bought at GW a long time ago and it was perfect for the event. I bought a red turtle neck to put under it (thank goodness for girls XL turtlenecks at Target for $3.50) and wore khaki's. It was pretty lame looking, but I tried to make it look somewhat cute=Þ
I got a lot of the kitchen things washed last night...just not put away and will hopefully finish that part of the apt today. I had to quit last night for a movie break. I finally saw The Family Stone. Not what I was expecting over-all, but it was a good movie. You should check it out. and ps...Luke Wilson is SO cute;)
I got a slight workout today. I helped Hillary and her dad move some things into the apt. I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Since I have been moving a lot lately I thought my muscles were a little stronger than they used to be, but after helping move a queen-sized bed upstairs...it appears not to be the case, ah well. After that I met Adrienne and Anna for Thai and it was great. Exotic Thai II (we're not sure where ET I is yet) has such great food...yummero!
Anywho, I should get back to the apartment and clean. Or at least head back and see if Hillary wants to run to Borders with me...I am slowly getting a start on my Christmas list for others and I came across another present today for somebody and it's at Borders. yay for coupons and Borders Rewards!
Anywho, off to clean or run errands!
much love!
p.s. you should check out The Black Keys. I borrowed a dvd of them from James and they are pretty amazing. Just the guitarist and the drummer and the sound they have created is impressive. I can only hope to be half as good as Pat Carney and hopefully half as sweaty! James wants to have a sound like The Black Keys and of course he loves Jack White so would it be The Black Stripes or the White Keys? Apparently neither...he threw out the name The Grey Chords. Not sure about that, but oh well. let's worry about me getting a drum kit first=Þ
Monday, December 11, 2006
The Holiday
Kelly and I saw The Holiday today and it was really good. I recommend seeing it! It's got JB, Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz and Jude Law in it and it's a cute holiday/romantic comedy=)
So Adrienne just posted all the pics we have been taking lately, pre-WSF show and our last Thai outing...and I've come to the conclusion that I just don't photo well. It could be all the goofy faces that I make, but who knows=Þ My cheeks are way chubs, too. I wouldn't mind losing a couple inches off those things, but something tells me I will have them for life!
Anywho, that's about it. I got the keys for the apartment and have slowly started moving things over. Hillary came up and I gave her a set of keys and then we took some measurements for her room and all. So yay to finally having a place to call home!
Time to get ready for sleep!
much love!
So Adrienne just posted all the pics we have been taking lately, pre-WSF show and our last Thai outing...and I've come to the conclusion that I just don't photo well. It could be all the goofy faces that I make, but who knows=Þ My cheeks are way chubs, too. I wouldn't mind losing a couple inches off those things, but something tells me I will have them for life!
Anywho, that's about it. I got the keys for the apartment and have slowly started moving things over. Hillary came up and I gave her a set of keys and then we took some measurements for her room and all. So yay to finally having a place to call home!
Time to get ready for sleep!
much love!
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
let's build ourselves a fire
I am so hungry...soup is on the burner warming up. I hope it's good. So I know it's only Tuesday, but I have cried both today and yesterday at some point. I can be sensitive at times (okay maybe a lot), but I don' t usually cry this frequently. I think this really is just a stressful/crying month or couple of months for me. With the apt and all and not really feeling at home anywhere, no offense to Kelly! And I've been stressing about boys lately...ugh, I'm so tired of it, but my mind just goes back to it. It's not that I really want or am ready to be in a relationship after everything with James, but honestly I just haven't really been single much since high school. James and I dated off and on for the past six years, with about a year or so (cumulative) broken up in between the three times we dated, and so now that I am single I think I just don't know what to do with my time besides think about being with a guy because that's what I know. Like I need to take my hobbies/interests and really spend some time doing those other things that make me happy or that I just like doing. I'm definitely not making the most of being single. Sure I am talking and hanging out with my friends, but my mind just goes straight back to boys..bleh. I guess I just really really have to make a conscious effort to not dwell on that topic, ya know?
Anywho. I got my rental car today, it's comparable to my neon, a 2006 gold chevy cobalt. It's a nice little car, but not necessarily one that I would rush out to buy on my own. The collision repair shop was supposed to get my car, but I don't think they got my info in time, so hopefully they should get the wrecker out here tomorrow to take it back to Kokomo to fix.
Sunday I told Aaron that I'm not going to pursue the ASM position since I plan on going back to school this fall. I would feel really guilty if Starbucks invested time/money into me and then I was like...oh btw, I'm going to step down after eight months. I am really excited to go back to school. I think prob professional writing but I am still keeping journalism in the back of my mind. I'm also way excited about getting a drum kit. I was talking to James at work about what songs I want to practice playing and what not. I am so on my way to being in a rock band=Þ I've been listening to Meg White's drumming, not that I want to imitate her style, but I could learn a few things from her I'm sure. And I really like Fab from The Strokes and of course Glenn Kotche of Wilco, but I'm also just paying more attention to drummers in general.
Since seeing The Pick of Destiny, I realized that I totally love Jack Black. Like when I think back to all the movies that he is in that I've seen, he cracks me up and I love his singing and general goofiness in his movies. Kelly and I were watching The School of Rock the other day (TBS) and I just love it. I dunno, nothing profound, but JB is definitely a celebrity crush of mine.
Anywho...I need to eat my soup before Gilmore Girls is over because Kelly and I are supposed to work out after the show is over which is in like eight minutes!
much love!
Anywho. I got my rental car today, it's comparable to my neon, a 2006 gold chevy cobalt. It's a nice little car, but not necessarily one that I would rush out to buy on my own. The collision repair shop was supposed to get my car, but I don't think they got my info in time, so hopefully they should get the wrecker out here tomorrow to take it back to Kokomo to fix.
Sunday I told Aaron that I'm not going to pursue the ASM position since I plan on going back to school this fall. I would feel really guilty if Starbucks invested time/money into me and then I was like...oh btw, I'm going to step down after eight months. I am really excited to go back to school. I think prob professional writing but I am still keeping journalism in the back of my mind. I'm also way excited about getting a drum kit. I was talking to James at work about what songs I want to practice playing and what not. I am so on my way to being in a rock band=Þ I've been listening to Meg White's drumming, not that I want to imitate her style, but I could learn a few things from her I'm sure. And I really like Fab from The Strokes and of course Glenn Kotche of Wilco, but I'm also just paying more attention to drummers in general.
Since seeing The Pick of Destiny, I realized that I totally love Jack Black. Like when I think back to all the movies that he is in that I've seen, he cracks me up and I love his singing and general goofiness in his movies. Kelly and I were watching The School of Rock the other day (TBS) and I just love it. I dunno, nothing profound, but JB is definitely a celebrity crush of mine.
Anywho...I need to eat my soup before Gilmore Girls is over because Kelly and I are supposed to work out after the show is over which is in like eight minutes!
much love!
Saturday, December 02, 2006
I just got hit by a car?!
So today has been a really long day. Opening and then getting some stuff ready to donate so that we can help raise money for Heather at Silver in the City. I was going to help out with the actual selling of stuff and what not, but due to events happening yesterday I can't help out...boo!
I think Kelly and I are both pooped. We went shopping yesterday and I feel we were both really productive and then we had to open and then tonight is James's show at the Brew Co. so it's going to be time for a nap real soon.
But ya, so the title of my blog is referring to what happened last night after Kelly and I made a run out to the store so I could get a pair of shoes to wear for tonight. We were heading back to her apartment, I was driving and we were on Salisbury and all of a sudden this car hits me in the drivers side. Looking back it's kind of funny how I reacted. We both screamed, looked at each other and then I stated the obvious (which I am excellent at doing) "I just got hit by a car?!?!?!" The guy just kind of sat there for a minute right next to my car and I looked over at him like, omg, you just hit me. And then we both got out, my door couldn't open all the way so I had to get out on the passenger side. It just really shook me up, I was shaking for a bit and couldn't really think straight. I'm glad Kelly was there with me. It just really sucks because I've never been in a car accident, my fault or not. So I didn't really know what to do, besides getting a police report, contacting insurance companies, etc. The guy was a little shaken up Kelly said, but it sounds like he's been in a few accidents before because he seemed to know what he was talking about. He was a bit too smooth/arrogant though for just hitting my car (I won't go into details), he hit me hard enough to blow out my tire, which wouldn't be too hard with the weather being as cold as it was, and the hub cap came off. So he changed my tire, but my spare was pretty much almost flat. When it was all done and said, we exchanged info so now I just have to get ahold of my insurance and get everything squared away. Bleh. I am just very thankful/grateful no one was hurt. I just have to get my car situation taken care of and get a rental until it is fixed.
so ya, I've got a lot of things to get done before the show tonight and I would like to squeeze in a nap or I am not going to be much fun tonight, just sleepy=Þ
much love!
I think Kelly and I are both pooped. We went shopping yesterday and I feel we were both really productive and then we had to open and then tonight is James's show at the Brew Co. so it's going to be time for a nap real soon.
But ya, so the title of my blog is referring to what happened last night after Kelly and I made a run out to the store so I could get a pair of shoes to wear for tonight. We were heading back to her apartment, I was driving and we were on Salisbury and all of a sudden this car hits me in the drivers side. Looking back it's kind of funny how I reacted. We both screamed, looked at each other and then I stated the obvious (which I am excellent at doing) "I just got hit by a car?!?!?!" The guy just kind of sat there for a minute right next to my car and I looked over at him like, omg, you just hit me. And then we both got out, my door couldn't open all the way so I had to get out on the passenger side. It just really shook me up, I was shaking for a bit and couldn't really think straight. I'm glad Kelly was there with me. It just really sucks because I've never been in a car accident, my fault or not. So I didn't really know what to do, besides getting a police report, contacting insurance companies, etc. The guy was a little shaken up Kelly said, but it sounds like he's been in a few accidents before because he seemed to know what he was talking about. He was a bit too smooth/arrogant though for just hitting my car (I won't go into details), he hit me hard enough to blow out my tire, which wouldn't be too hard with the weather being as cold as it was, and the hub cap came off. So he changed my tire, but my spare was pretty much almost flat. When it was all done and said, we exchanged info so now I just have to get ahold of my insurance and get everything squared away. Bleh. I am just very thankful/grateful no one was hurt. I just have to get my car situation taken care of and get a rental until it is fixed.
so ya, I've got a lot of things to get done before the show tonight and I would like to squeeze in a nap or I am not going to be much fun tonight, just sleepy=Þ
much love!
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